It's the true intentions that matter...

Oct 3, 2009 12:04:00 PM / by Vu Long Tran

No one is the same, and although we may share the same interests or experiences, everyone is different in one way or another. We all look, talk, act and relate differently from one another. We all have our own skills, knowledge, lifestyles and have different approaches to the everything in life. We also all make mistakes since no one is perfect. Each of us learn in our own ways, whether that is visually, verbally or kinetically, since each of us has a general tendency to more or sway towards our own preferences on various elements our lives.

When someone makes a mistake one can always be tempted to react so strongly to it - whatever it may be, and in such a way that can make the other person feel bad about what has been done. Yet, looking at what has been done more closely, one can assess whether our reactions may be warranted after all, and whether the type of reaction choosen is truly acceptable for the circumstance at hand.

For example, you're at a bar and a friend of yours goes and gets a drink for you. Although the drink is exactly what you wanted they accidentally spill the drink onto you. Do you:
A) Start yelling in anger at your friend and demand them to find a cloth/tissues quickly to clean the spill.
B) Tell your friend to not worry and to find a cloth/tissues quickly to clean the spill.

Most likely you'll go with action B and tell your friend to not worry and to find a cloth/tissues quickly to clean the spill. As what happened has happened, it's in the past and you can't change that. The only thing you can do now is to clean up the mess.

Now imagine your friend was a stranger? Would you still react the same?

Most likely this would depend but will generally result in the same reaction. Nonetheless, what I'm seeking to point out is that in these situations whilst the actions (i.e. the spill onto you) was unintentional and happened, it is the intention behind the action that should be encouraged. As they had intention to get a drink for you and did not intend to spill it on you (at least you would hope not). The fact that they tried rather than that they failed should be what you 'assess' (if that's the right word for it) or refer to before drawing any conclusions.

As it can sometimes be easy just to get upset or anger at someone for something that do that happens to affect you. Sometimes it's intentional, sometimes not. However, one should always try engage and assess a situation with the view to identify the ''true intentions' of the other involved party. As I'd hate to be really upset or angry at someone when it was truly due to a bit of cluminess or simply an accident.

The same perspective should be placed on the other elements of our life where each of our skills, knowledges, general motors skills will almost always vary. So remember to do the following and you'll find that things in life happen and that it's always best to look at the intentions of others to determine why it happens, in order to react in a way that reflects their true intentions, with these I hope you can unravel the real truth that often can seem quite hidden 'in the moment':

  • Always try look at the true intentions behind the actions of others before reacting.
  • Everyone is not perfect, we all make mistakes. Things happen, always try move forward and identify how to resolve the problem rather than focus on the past.


Vu Long Tran

Written by Vu Long Tran

Solutions Engineer APAC @pymetrics . ex-@Forrester consultant. Tweeting on #cloud, #cybersecurity, #equality and #tech tinkering!

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